Once you have all the basic facts about HIV (Learn About HIV) and are ready to start talking, you may wonder how to actually begin a conversation about HIV with your family or friends. Following are a few suggestions for starting the conversation:
Start the discussion with a question about how you can protect yourself against HIV and ask your family member/friend for advice.
If you already feel comfortable talking openly about HIV with your family or friend, try opening the conversation more directly with an interesting fact about HIV.
Ideally, choose a place and time where you and your family member or friend can talk without too much distraction. But remember, situations and interactions occur in our everyday lives that can be a natural trigger for starting the conversation about HIV. Take advantage of such occasions when you and your family member or friends are doing something together to help jump start the conversation.
Still not exactly sure how to open a conversation? Watch this short campaign video and then click on the links below for conversation starters to help you start your own discussion.
Conversation Starters
To get the conversation going, consider using one of these suggested conversation starters:
HIV among Hispanics/Latinos
I heard this doctor on the radio say that in the U.S., almost 1 in 5 new HIV infections are among Hispanics/Latinos. Should we be concerned about that? What have you heard about HIV?
I never hear anyone talk about HIV/AIDS anymore. It's still an issue - even in our community. Why do you think we don’t talk about it? How can we get more of our friends and family members to talk about HIV?
I realize it may be a little uncomfortable talking about this, but I’m curious to know – was HIV/AIDS a serious health issue when you were growing up? Did grandma/grandpa talk to you about ways to protect yourself?
Let’s watch these campaign videos together, what do you think?
General facts about HIV in the United States
Did you know that more than 1.2 million people are living with HIV in the United States? How can we remind everyone that HIV is still a serious health issue today?
I heard that almost half of all Americans know someone living with HIV. Do you know anyone living with HIV?
How HIV is transmitted
I know some people think you can get HIV by shaking hands, hugging, or a casual kiss with someone who has HIV. But it is spread through sex with or sharing drug injection needles with someone who is HIV-positive. I would like to help people understand this – what could I/we do?
I saw a video where a guy was talking about his experience living with HIV. He said that at first some of his family members were afraid to hug or eat after him. If that was someone in our family, would you have the same fears?
Do you think some of our friends believe they can get HIV just by having casual contact with someone who is HIV positive? I want to make sure we all know the facts about how HIV is really transmitted.
I recently watched an online telenovela called Sin Vergüenza. It talked about all these issues around sex, relationships, and HIV. It made me realize that we should try to talk more openly about HIV. Have you seen it?
I heard that substance use can contribute to HIV risk because alcohol and other drugs lead people to make bad decisions like being less likely to use condoms. It makes sense. Do you try to make sure you’re protecting yourself at all times?
I know you’re in a new relationship and I just want to make sure you’re being careful because I care about you. Even having sex once without a condom can leave you exposed to HIV or other sexually transmitted diseases. Are you protecting yourself? How?
How HIV can be prevented
I’ve been thinking that we don’t talk a lot about topics like sex, sexuality, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and HIV, but I want you to know that I am always here for you and we can talk about anything. Your health and well-being are more important to me than anything.
I need advice on how to talk to my boyfriend/girlfriend about ways we can protect ourselves from HIV. What do you think I should say?
Learning more about HIV/AIDS is an important first step in protecting ourselves from infection. Let’s research online to find ways we can protect ourselves from HIV.
If you’re going to have sex, you should be sure to use condoms to protect yourself from HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Your health and well-being are worth it.
I’m sure you know condoms can prevent pregnancy, but did you know that condoms are also really good at protecting against HIV? I don’t know about you – but worrying about pregnancy and HIV can make sex less satisfying for me. How would you tell your boyfriend that you want to use condoms every time you have sex?
Did you know that there are medicines that you can take that can help reduce the chance of getting HIV? It’s called PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis) and you take one pill every day. There has been quite a buzz about PrEP in the news recently. What have you heard about it?
HIV is preventable. Have you talked about HIV prevention lately?
People who are HIV positive can take medications that reduce the amount of virus in their body and help them live a long, healthy life. Those same medications also help them not spread the virus to other people they have sex with. Can you believe how far we’ve come with HIV treatment and prevention options?
A lot of my friends are scared to talk to their partners about using condoms because they think it will create suspicions of cheating and distrust – but I disagree. I think that using a condom means that you care about your partner’s health and that you also care about your own health. What do you think?
I never knew that a married woman who has always been faithful could still get HIV! Now I realize the importance of protecting myself and getting tested for HIV regularly. Do you protect yourself from HIV?
HIV testing
Have you ever been tested for HIV? I haven’t, but I want to. Will you come with me? We can find an HIV testing site nearby by texting our ZIP code to KNOWIT (566948). It will then send us a response with information about the closest testing location. Let’s try it!
I know we don’t often talk about this, but I’m wondering – have you ever been tested for HIV? CDC recommends that everyone between the ages of 13 and 64 get tested for HIV at least once just like any other screening.
It’s important for us to get tested for HIV. I heard it’s free, fast, and confidential. Let’s go get tested together.
Did you know over-the-counter, at-home HIV tests are now available at drug stores and online? Would you feel more comfortable doing a test at-home instead of at a clinic or in a doctor’s office?
I’ve never been tested for HIV, but I heard that 1 out of 8 people living with HIV do not know they are infected. Do you know your status? Do you want to go get tested together?
A lady on the radio said 1 in 8 people with HIV don’t know they are infected. That tells me we should all get tested so we know one way or the other. Let’s go together.
The last time I went to the doctor for a check-up, she talked to me about the importance of STD and HIV testing. You should ask your doctor about it at your check-up next week. My doctor was telling me about the importance of knowing my status and I want all the people I care about to know their status as well.
My girlfriend and I are getting serious with our relationship and I’m wondering if it’s the right time to start talking about getting tested for HIV. I know you’ve been with your boyfriend for a while. When did you first talk about HIV and ways to protect yourself?
I'm thinking about getting an HIV test, but I'm nervous. If I bought some at-home tests, would you take one with me?
I just got an HIV test and it took less than 20 minutes and they didn’t even have to stick me with a needle. I couldn't believe that it was so easy. Do you have any concerns about getting tested?
Sharing your HIV status
I heard you should always ask people that you are starting to date about their HIV status. It’s better to talk about it earlier rather than later—certainly before you have sex. How would you ask someone you’re dating about their HIV status?
I was on Facebook and saw a post about the importance of knowing your HIV status. Do you know yours?
I always ask people that I am starting to date about their HIV status. You’d be surprised at how easy the conversation can be.
I got tested for HIV last week. I was nervous but relieved to learn that I am HIV-negative. Knowing my status feels great and now I want to encourage all of my friends and family to get tested, too. What are some reasons you might not want to get tested? I can tell you about my experience and it might help address your concerns.
About a year ago, I found out that I’m HIV-positive. Since then, I’ve been taking HIV medication and I feel great. The virus is controlled and at undetectable levels. When was the last time you were tested for HIV? I will go with you to get tested if you’re scared or nervous.
Supporting people living with HIV
Thanks for confiding in me and trusting me enough to share your status. How long have you known? How are you doing? Are you on treatment?
I admire you for being honest with me and telling me that you are HIV-positive. Do you want to talk about it some more? I’m here if you ever need to talk.
While I may not know the right thing to say to you in this moment, please know that I am here to listen. I care and will be here for you always.
HIV is no longer a death sentence like it used to be. There is hope and a lot of places where you can seek support, medical care, and treatment. Let’s search now to find resources nearby.
It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed right now. You may even feel alone, but know that you're not alone. I am here for you and there are also professional support services that can help us get through this difficult time.
It is essential that you now take the necessary steps to protect your health—for yourself and for those who care about you.
